Fear has many names. You can call it insecurity, anxiety, worry, angst or apprehension, but its effect remains the same. Scientists tell us that “to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” and this same principal finds its way into our spiritual lives as well: for every ounce of fear you accommodate in your heart there can be found that much less room for courage and boldness. Jason Gray puts it well in his song, No Thief Like Fear:

“Fear will take the best of us
Then come back for the rest of us
Its raging hunger never satisfied
It's closer than a brother
And more jealous than a lover
It holds you while it swallows you alive
Let down your guard
And it will steal your heart"*

Those last two lines say it all. Fear gives you a thousand opportunities every day to entertain it: the evening news reports rioting in the Middle East; the “experts” predict a hike in gas prices and – do you hear that? – it sounds like the car is making that funny noise again! No matter how hard you try not to care, you do, and fear seems like your only logical reaction to the unknown. But this kind of fear isn’t logical! In Matthew 6:27-29, during His famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus posed this question to His audience: “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” We seem to grasp the fact that worrying about our height will never make us taller, but that the future is just as much beyond our control is a lesson many of us have yet to learn.

“Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.
For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”

             -Proverbs 3:25, 26

Fear is essentially the enemy of faith, which is why I believe the devil has looked for ways of imparting it to the hearts of believers since the beginning of time. With Eve, he caused her to fear God was holding out on her and then tricked her into eating forbidden fruit. With David, he caused him to fear the consequences of his own actions and then to believe murder was the only solution. Why did Peter deny Christ? Why did Israel cower before Goliath for 40 days before a young boy stood before him in the name of the Lord with five stones and a sling? Why did only one disciple go out to meet Jesus on the raging sea? Why did the Pharisees crucify the Messiah they’d so long been waiting for? Fear. Fear of persecution, fear of defeat, and fear of shame. 

Not only is fear the enemy of your faith, but it’s the enemy of your soul, your relationships, and your very salvation. This is why we must guard our hearts against it. May we all learn to trust God with our tomorrows and be confident in the promise that “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). You’ll still go through the same trials as before, but will be able to stand and say with David, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me” (Psalm 23:4).

*© 2011 – Centricity Music Publishing

I didn’t plan to write about romance when first starting this series, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that few things have a more direct line to one’s heart than love itself. The Bible tells us that love is a beautiful and noble thing (1 Corinthians 13), but romantic love has several unique qualities – most of which are obvious – when contrasted with the “brotherly love” spoken of in Hebrews 13:1. Although both were created by God and are in some way a reflection of His Own goodness, romantic love should always be combined with discernment and maturity whereas Christian love should be had toward all people without prejudice.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

             -2 Corinthians 6:14

The first and most important thing to consider about a person you’re attracted to is whether or not they are a believer. Don’t make the mistake of disregarding his or her beliefs now with the intention of changing them later; this rarely happens. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that “the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” Why this stipulation? Because according to Matthew 11:28-30, the burden of the sinner is heavy while the load of the Christian is light. When a believer and nonbeliever are joined in marriage, thus becoming in the eyes of God “one flesh” (Mark 10:8), it becomes exceptionally difficult to “stand fast…in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” (Gal. 5:1) That’s not to say those already in such a situation should by any means leave their spouse (see 1 Cor. 7:13), but it’s best not to put yourself in this position if at all possible.

Secondly, don’t take for granted that you are supposed to pursue a relationship with somebody just because they meet the above criteria. The facts that the girl next door calls herself a Christian and that you find her attractive doesn’t mean God has predestined her to be your wife. Does she share your values and doctrinal beliefs, or do you disagree on issues which may prove controversial in the long-run? Of course you shouldn’t be so critical that you’re impossible to satisfy – it’s probably okay if you read different translations of the Bible – but keep in mind that deeper issues such as the necessity of baptism and tithing will likely prove contentious unless you see eye-to-eye on them.

Finally, understand that any decision of this magnitude made without prayer and fasting will likely be wrong. Even relationships that never consummate in marriage will generally have a very lasting effect on those involved and so rushing into romance without first seeking God’s will is never advisable. You may be sure you have found the one God has for you, but don’t spoil His perfect plan by taking things impatiently into your own hands; seek His guidance and accept His timeframe, even if it differs from your own (it probably will).

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

              -Proverbs 4:23

My intent in writing this series is to prepare you for the daily war fought for the attention of your mind and the affection of your heart. Not only does your heart influence the decisions you make, but it determines the very emotions you feel and the thoughts you entertain. This is what Solomon meant when he said “out of it are the issues of life.” And yet despite our general awareness of this I see too many Christian young people willing to grant a place in their hearts to anybody who will take it just so they can change their relationship status on Facebook. This is too small a thing to live for. First make sure you’ve given top priority to your relationship with God, otherwise your every pursuit will be a wasted effort to fill an emptiness only He can satisfy.

Disagree with me if you want to, but I believe music is one of the most influential things we allow into our lives. Even on rare days when I don’t tune in to my local Christian music station or pop in a favorite CD on my way to work, the song I wake up to in the morning or what I hear playing at the grocery store always finds a way to get stuck in my head. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing depending on what kind of music is involved, but the fact of the matter is that our thoughts, and therefore our actions, are directly affected by what we spend time listening to.

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;”

-Ephesians 5:19

Now I’m not one of those people who think it’s sinful to listen to anything but Southern Gospel, but I do believe most Christians are far too liberal in their choices of music. I’ve seen too many friends who once lived respectable, Godly lives begin a terrible downward spiral by deciding to compromise in this single area. I know the simple fact that a song isn’t about God doesn’t make it sinful, but we must ask ourselves whether its lyrics and overall message are truly worthwhile and consider what kind of lasting effect it will have on us. Even if you stay away from profanity and punk rock, filling your mind with lies about life and love can be just as harmful in the long run. Can you honestly say what you listen to meets the criteria for Godly thought found in Philippians 4:8? If not, then it’s time to clean out your iPod.

At this point I’m sure I’ve already offended some of you, but know this is not my intent. I just believe we need to be aware of just how much influence music wields in our life and emotions, and yet too many people seem to think they can partake in the very things the world takes pleasure in without being negatively affected by any of it. Proverbs 6:27-28 lets us know that, when you play with fire, getting burned is unavoidable. It doesn’t matter how strong you are in Christ; it’s impossible to daily and willingly place yourself in the devil’s line of fire without getting hit. “But what’s wrong with this song or that band?” you say? Perhaps instead of asking “Is it wrong?” you should ask “Is it right?”. Comparing darkness to light provides better contrast.