“I need You to soften my heart and break me apart
I need You to open my eyes, to see that You're shaping my life
All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You're good and Your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give You my life

I may be weak but Your Spirit's strong in me
My flesh may fail, but my God You never will”

           (Give Me Faith - Elevation Worship)

I know I usually open my posts with a Scripture, but this song has been resounding loudly in my soul all day long. My heart has been overwhelmed with just about every type of emotion over the last two weeks, and the chorus of this song is a prayer I just can’t seem to get away from: “give me faith.”

As someone who devotes much of my time to various forms of ministry and trying to convince others of the love and goodness of God, it feels awkward to admit that I’ve had to continually pray for Divine reminders of these things. After all, they’re two of the most basics aspects of Christianity. Yet I think it’s because they are in fact so fundamental that Satan makes a special effort to convince us that God is either impressed by our strength or ashamed of our weakness. When we don’t fully believe that God’s love is unconditional and that His grace is free, we inevitably exhaust ourselves trying to earn what we so desperately need.

It’s true that faith and doubt are complete opposites by definition, but I think they often share close quarters in the secret places of our hearts. Even Peter, who had enough faith to step out of a boat onto raging waters with Christ, was overwhelmed by doubt and fear just seconds later and began to sink (Matt. 14:30-31). It’s as if the disappointment we feel every time the love of the world fails keeps us from ever fully trusting in a love that cannot fail.

But God isn’t the earthly father that turned his back on you; He’s your heavenly Father Who imparts “the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” (Rom. 8:15) He isn’t a fair-weather friend who doesn’t have time for your problems; He’s “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24) Your boss may capitalize on every opportunity to criticize your mistakes, but the strength of Christ is perfected in weakness and depravity (2 Cor. 12:9-10). He doesn’t hold your humanity against you; He delights in you as His child and “will joy over thee with singing.” (Zeph. 3:17)

You don’t have to make God aware of your fears. He already knows what troubles your mind and burdens your heart. Pray for faith to believe that you really are the object of the greatest love that has ever existed, and that you be made “confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
-James 5:16

Our culture is one that glamorizes perfection. If you're not sure what I mean, just turn on your T.V. or take a trip to the mall. Commercials tell us we're incomplete without the latest and greatest gadgets. Photoshopped supermodels tell us what we should wear. The car that just passed you on the highway was newer than yours. In some way or another, we are confronted on a daily basis by the lie that our shortcomings are unacceptable.

But the truth of the Gospel is that God sees our shortcomings as opportunities to lavish us with His grace. Paul put it this way in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Take a moment to reread these verses and fully grasp what Paul is trying to teach us here. He's saying our weakness is not only acceptable, but it is actually a glorious thing when placed in the hands of our loving Savior. We don't have to have everything together emotionally, financially, or even spiritually - which is a good thing for people like me. Instead, Paul insists that our inadequacies can actually bring glory to God when we allow the power of Christ to “rest upon us”. This means abandoning our own tendency to "just try harder" and allowing the strength and grace of Jesus to reign over every aspect of our lives. As in Paul’s case, this could mean learning to live with a “thorn in the flesh” that God chooses not to remove for reasons we may never understand (2 Cor. 12:7).

My experience over the last several months, however, has been that viewing my own weaknesses through the lens of grace is much easier said than done. Even though most Christians I know would agree with everything I've written so far, it seems that most believers, including myself, are obsessed with convincing everyone else they've got it all together. We try to look perfect every Sunday morning and play the part of a Type A Christian, while on the inside a majority of us are battling doubt, fear, and/or depression on some level.

How do I know this? Because I’ve seen too many people who played the part of Super Saint simply give up without warning. Everyone thought they were happily married until he left. No one knew she was depressed until she attempted suicide. He never talked about his doubts until he quit going to church. People who played the part perfectly week after week were entrenched in the greatest spiritual battles of their lives, but were too afraid of condemnation to reach out for help.

Do you see the resemblance yet? While pop culture is telling us how many Instagram followers we should have, the church world is setting its own standards of spiritual excellence. If you need just one more friend on Facebook, you might be tempted to accept that request from someone you may or may not have passed in Walmart last week. If you lack a little faith in God, pretending to be stronger than you really are is usually easier than admitting your doubt, especially when you’re convinced no one else will relate to your struggle.

The only problem with this masquerade of perfection is that it’s just that: a masquerade. Somewhere along the line we tend to lose sight of our daily need for grace and then exhaust ourselves trying to impress God and everyone else with our faithfulness. We’ll request prayer for a sick relative or a lost family member, but dare not admit our own discouragement for fear of appearing weak. We try to measure up to standards of commitment set by other believers, not realizing that many of them are playing their own small role in this charade.

What's so wrong with this type of Christianity is that it effectively "sets aside the grace of God" (Gal. 2:21) in one's relationship with the Lord and his relationship with fellow believers. And a life devoid of grace is hardly worth living.

"Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?"
-Galatians 3:3

Despite my own propensity to overcomplicate things, I have arrived at the conclusion that the key to victory in almost every battle one can possibly face is simply to trust in God's love and grace, to lean on the “rock that is higher than I” (Psalm 61:2). Paul's point in Galatians 3:3 is very clear: grace is what saved us and grace is what keeps us going. To the extent that we trust in our own strength we are prone to failure, but when we cast our burdens upon the Lord it becomes evident that only He can sustain us (Psalm 55:22).

“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.”

               -Ephesians 4:1

“This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”

               -1 Timothy 1:15

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”
                                                           -James 4:14

As much as I appreciate the blessing of tomorrow, I’ve also come to see it as a blessing too often abused. Though most people will readily admit their life could be snuffed out at any time, for some reason we continue to live as if there is always another page to be turned, another chapter to be written. Like the rich man in Luke 12 who fell into the lap of luxury only to “fall into the hands of the living God” when he least expected it (Heb. 10:31), many times we embrace unnecessary responsibilities today while postponing what God says is truly important until tomorrow.

What do I mean by unnecessary responsibilities? Well, let’s start with the obvious. Hunting trips, shopping ventures, and web surfing are all nonessentials. We could live without them if it became necessary. More subtle distractions such as extra-biblical literature and blogging may at times seem indispensible, but even these should be a distant second to our God and our family. We as Christians are called to demonstrate faithfulness, not just in the “big” things, but in the countless smaller responsibilities that shape our character and mold our relationships (Matt 25:23).

Of course that’s not to say whatever is unnecessary can also be categorized as sin. Solomon himself believed “there is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labor.” (Eccl. 2:24) Our lives are a gift from God and should be enjoyed in holiness (Heb. 12:14), but putting your family on hold to accommodate a self-induced busy schedule is a sacrifice no one can afford to make.

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.”

               -Matthew 23:23

Just like the Pharisees, how often have we allowed our zeal for God to tear us down rather than build us up? Peter cutting off Malchus’ ear when His Savior’s life was threatened revealed an inner passion worth emulating, but in the end he earned only a rebuke from the One he was attempting to defend (John 18:10-11). Is it any different when a Christian passionate about truth spends more time reading Bible commentary than the Word of God itself, or can quote their favorite theologian more fluently than their risen Lord? We procrastinate making the changes we know are needed but somehow always make room for the lesser things we could do without. Isn’t it true that “procrastination is the thief of time”¹ God calls us to redeem (Eph. 5:16)?

God has a special blessing in store for those who make Him, not religion or good works, the focus of their heart and the love of their life. We “shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ” someday to answer for the decisions we’ve made (Rom. 14:10), and this reality should encourage God’s church in the pursuit of holiness and “faith unfeigned.” (1 Tim. 1:5) There’s no need to wait until the 1^st of January to enact these commitments. Act now! Determine what you must do, put your hand to the plow, and don’t look back (Luke 9:62). It’s this kind of dedication we need to break the chains “tomorrow” can so easily ensnare us with.

¹ Edward Young

“And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait: let me fall now into the hand of the LORD; for very great are his mercies: but let me not fall into the hand of man.”

                          -1 Chronicles 21:13

The other night as I was reading in the Old Testament, I came across this verse in 1 Chronicles that I just couldn’t seem to get over. Israelites were dying by the thousands as a result of David’s rebellion against the Lord, and he knew very well that it was his own fault. His plea, however, was not one of anger or bitterness; it was one of true humility and repentance as he asked that, if he must fall, he could do so on God’s mercy. He recognized that the only safe place to land was in God’s own hand.

Anyway, last night I wrote this song based on this passage of Scripture and what God has been teaching me through it. I don’t write music too often, but when you put a guitar in my hand and a Scripture in my heart you never know what might happen. I hope you like it.

 

You lift me up when I am cast down

You bring me peace when none can be found;

You satisfy my soul with Your love

I’m falling on You, Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough

 

When the shadows hide the sun

When I cannot see and I don’t feel Your love

When the peace I know departs from my soul

I will trust in You, and Lord I won’t let You go

Lord I will never let you go

 

When I fall I’ll fall on You God

When I stand I’ll stand with You God

When I trust I’ll trust in You God

When I fear I will fear you God*

*Words and music © 2011 – Dakota L.