Looking through my archives, I realize that I’ve written a number of posts talking about the evils of gossip and, as Paul called it, “corrupt communication.” But today I want to do something a little different and, instead of looking at how we shouldn’t talk, I want to take a moment and share with you some Scriptures that present Christians with another, more holy, alternative.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

                      -Ephesians 4:29

Throughout chapter four of Ephesians, Paul listed several things Christians ought to avoid. Among these are dishonesty, theft, foul language, and resentment toward others (Eph. 4:25, 28, 29, 31-32). But if you look even more closely, you’ll see that each of these sins are to be not merely removed, but replaced. Dishonesty is to be replaced by the truth; theft is to be replaced by hard work and generosity; and resentment by forgiveness and longsuffering. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s not enough to simply avoid evil; we must pursue righteousness. That message is clearly integrated into this chapter, and Paul lets us know that to just avoid foul language isn’t enough either. That which is “good the use of edifying” must take its place!

Perhaps you’ve overcome the temptation to gossip, but are you actively edifying those around you with your words? Do you encourage those who need encouraged, comfort those who need comfort, and correct those who need correction? I know this is one area in which I fall drastically short. Too often we are quick to point out the negative which, though it does sometimes need pointed out, can quickly cause a fellow Christian to stumble if all they ever hear about is their mistakes. If someone succeeds more than they fail, then why are we more prone to point on their downfalls than their virtues?

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt…”

                    -Colossians 4:6

Whatever we say, we are commanded that it be both edifying and full of grace. That doesn’t mean God will only call us to speak words of peace and joy, but that, when we do speak, He should be shining through us. If He’s not, then chances are what we’re saying falls under the category of “corrupt communication.”

“But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

                    -Matthew 5:34-37

In Jesus’ day, the ultimate way of proving your sincerity in any given matter was to swear an oath. Someone would swear by the temple and, in an attempt to outdo the other, someone else would swear by the gold in the temple. One person would swear by the altar, and another would swear by the sacrifice that was laid on the altar (Matthew 23:16-18). In the same way, this way of life has been almost perfectly mirrored in today’s society, where a person’s word alone is rarely enough to convince someone of the truth. Instead of taking one another at their word, how many times have you heard a conversation like this break out among friends?:

Guy #1: “Wow! Did that really happen?”

Guy #2: “Yes, I’m telling the truth.”

Guy #1: “Do you promise?

Guy #2: “Of course I promise.”

Guy #1: “Do you really really promise?”

If Guy #2 doesn’t “really really promise” that he’s telling the truth, his friend probably won’t believe him anymore. Sadly, many Christians today unwittingly compromise the integrity of their everyday speech by playing this twisted game of pinky-promises and triple-swears. After all, shouldn’t the followers of Jesus Christ – the Way, Truth, and Life (John 14:6) – be able to convince someone of the truth based on their word alone?

To the best of my knowledge, Christ never promised or swore in order to establish His words or teaching. He simply affirmed the truth of the matter at hand with the words, “Verily (i.e. truly) verily I say unto you.” (John 12:24) Likewise, we need not to do more than give somebody our  simple word of faith when the truth of a matter is questioned. Whatsoever is more than this cometh of evil.

“These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”

                             -Proverbs 6:16-19

Out of all the sins God hates, the book of Proverbs lists seven specific things that are an abomination in His sight. And though many people can posses these traits, one type of person in particular contains six of these seven terrible sins: the gossip.

A gossip is not only prideful by thinking he or she is better than those they are talking about (verse 17), but they all too often exaggerate what little truth might exist in the rumors they enjoy spreading. By distorting the truth, they are in God’s sight a liar, and thus disqualify themself from the Kingdom of Heaven (Revelation 21:8). Furthermore, their feet are always quick in running into mischief, their heart continually devising wicked imaginations and, above all, their lips always sowing discord among the brethren (verse 18-19). They are the opposite of a peacemaker (Matthew 5:9), and will thus receive the opposite of what is promised to peacemakers: a curse rather than a blessing.

“A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.”

                          -Proverbs 11:13

Whether the information is true or false, gossip is still a sin in God’s eyes. According to this Scripture, there are instances when the best thing to do is to “conceal the matter.” After all, why would we want to spread information that will cause discord, even if we think what we’re saying is factual? In the words of Paul, the only type of communication that should be found on a Christian’s lips is “…that which is good the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

Probably each of us need to carefully and prayerfully consider the way in which we use our tongue. As we read in God’s Word, it is an unruly evil that only God can tame (James 3:8). Truly, death and life are both in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).

One mistake I think many Christians – including myself - often make, is us getting in our heads that, in order to spend time with God, we’ve got to be saying something. Without giving the Lord a chance to get a word in edgewise, we ramble on about our needs, our desires, and our problems until we feel like we’ve said enough. Once we think we’ve put in enough time, we wrap it up, say Amen, and wait until the next day when we’ll repeat the process.

The problem with this, however, is that we are turning our time with God into a monologue instead of a dialogue. Christianity was never intended to be a single-sided relationship, yet, for many, that’s what it has become. I know that I’ve never really enjoyed talking with somebody who thinks they are the only one with anything worth saying, and I highly doubt the Lord does either. Could it be that the reason we aren’t hearing from God like we want to is because we simply won’t listen for His voice?

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

                         -Psalm 46:10

Some of the best moments I’ve ever spent with God were times of complete silence on my part. Whether going outside and watching the beauty of the night sky, or sitting in a church pew enjoying the presence of the Lord, I’ve learned that God has His own ways of speaking to us. He doesn’t always speak audibly; He finds louder ways of getting our attention. But, even if He does speak, will we be able to hear Him over our own voices?

Perhaps the Lord has spoken to your heart in the few moments that you’ve been reading this post. Maybe He’s telling you it’s time to “be still” and listen to the song He’s singing over you (Zeph. 3:17), or that it’s time to stop standing still and start moving forward in Him. Whatever He may be saying to you, listen closely.

"And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;"

                            -II Peter 1:6 

In many ways, temperance and longsuffering go hand in hand. If we are one who fails to be longsuffering, then chances are we also fail in the area of temperance, and vice-versa. Therefore it is exceedingly important that we learn self-control (another word for temperance), knowing that we will be lacking two fruits of the Spirit if we don't.

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." 

                            -James 1:19-20

It is very rare indeed that anything good is wrought out of our anger. Most of the time, it leads us to do and say things that we later regret, not to mention the hurt feelings that almost always result.

There is an old story that my mom often tells me and my sister about a young boy who was told to go out and drive nails into each of the fence posts in their yard. After he had finished hammering, his father then instructed him to remove every one of the nails he'd just hammered. "While the nails may come out," his father told him, "the holes will aways be there. You can't fix them." Through this, he taught his son that what we say has an everlasting impact on people's lives. We can "take it back", but the hole will always be there.

We need to be careful that our lack of temperance doesn't lead us to say things that could cause another person to stumble. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a piece of baloney. They do hurt, and we need to make sure we don't say anything we'll want to take back later on.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

                            -Ephesians 4:29 

Yes it is. According to the dictionary, gossip is intentionally spreading intimate, private rumors or facts. It doesn't matter whether or not it's true. If it's something that we wouldn't say to the person's face, then 99% of the time we should keep our mouth shut.

Excuse #2: "They hurt me and I need to vent."

In this life we will have our feelings hurt many times over. That's just the way it works. We have misunderstandings, differences of opinion, etc. But, it has been my experience that "venting" usually just rekindles the fire, angering me even more that I already was (not to mention that now I've got somebody else involved, upsetting them as well).

"Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another:"

                            -Proverbs 25:9

If our feelings have been hurt so bad that we feel the need to tell everybody who will listen about what happened, then we would probably be wise to confront the person and work things out personally. If we don't feel that we are able to do that, then we should pour out our heart to the Lord instead of to everybody else.



The Bible tells us that the words of a talebearer are as wounds (Proverbs 18:8). Throughout my life, there has been many times that I've found out other people had said something bad about me and, honestly, there are few things more painful. I would imagine that we all know the feeling of finding out that someone we thought was our friend has been talking about us behind our back. If we have any decency whatsoever, we will do anything and everything possible to keep others from experiencing that same pain.