“I need You to soften my heart and break me apart
I need You to open my eyes, to see that You're shaping my life
All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what You say,
That You're good and Your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give You my life

I may be weak but Your Spirit's strong in me
My flesh may fail, but my God You never will”

           (Give Me Faith - Elevation Worship)

I know I usually open my posts with a Scripture, but this song has been resounding loudly in my soul all day long. My heart has been overwhelmed with just about every type of emotion over the last two weeks, and the chorus of this song is a prayer I just can’t seem to get away from: “give me faith.”

As someone who devotes much of my time to various forms of ministry and trying to convince others of the love and goodness of God, it feels awkward to admit that I’ve had to continually pray for Divine reminders of these things. After all, they’re two of the most basics aspects of Christianity. Yet I think it’s because they are in fact so fundamental that Satan makes a special effort to convince us that God is either impressed by our strength or ashamed of our weakness. When we don’t fully believe that God’s love is unconditional and that His grace is free, we inevitably exhaust ourselves trying to earn what we so desperately need.

It’s true that faith and doubt are complete opposites by definition, but I think they often share close quarters in the secret places of our hearts. Even Peter, who had enough faith to step out of a boat onto raging waters with Christ, was overwhelmed by doubt and fear just seconds later and began to sink (Matt. 14:30-31). It’s as if the disappointment we feel every time the love of the world fails keeps us from ever fully trusting in a love that cannot fail.

But God isn’t the earthly father that turned his back on you; He’s your heavenly Father Who imparts “the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” (Rom. 8:15) He isn’t a fair-weather friend who doesn’t have time for your problems; He’s “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24) Your boss may capitalize on every opportunity to criticize your mistakes, but the strength of Christ is perfected in weakness and depravity (2 Cor. 12:9-10). He doesn’t hold your humanity against you; He delights in you as His child and “will joy over thee with singing.” (Zeph. 3:17)

You don’t have to make God aware of your fears. He already knows what troubles your mind and burdens your heart. Pray for faith to believe that you really are the object of the greatest love that has ever existed, and that you be made “confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 1:6)